1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,480
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,960
[MUSIC PLAYING]

3
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,940
[MUSIC PLAYING]

4
00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:12,920
[MUSIC PLAYING]

5
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:16,400
[MUSIC PLAYING]

6
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,380
[MUSIC PLAYING]

7
00:00:19,380 --> 00:00:22,360
[MUSIC PLAYING]

8
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:44,860
[LAUGHING]

9
00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:48,340
[MUSIC PLAYING]

10
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,820
[MUSIC PLAYING]

11
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:53,320
Good morning, Carla.

12
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,320
[SCREAMING]

13
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,820
[MUSIC PLAYING]

14
00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:58,820
[GASPING]

15
00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:01,320
Oh my god.

16
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:01,820
That's dear.

17
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:02,320
Did you see that?

18
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,720
I didn't believe it.

19
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:04,540
Give me that chair.

20
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:05,040
It's mine.

21
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:05,980
I was here first.

22
00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,340
I need the lumbar support.

23
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,820
Jack, Bob, what are you doing?

24
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,040
Ah, Darrell.

25
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,200
You're supposed to be dead.

26
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:11,800
Dead?

27
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,540
Kenny announced at the morning meeting.

28
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,460
We observed 45 seconds of silence.

29
00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:17,520
It would have been a minute, but the coffee cart came.

30
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,180
Hey, Captain.

31
00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:20,340
Kenny, did you tell everyone I was dead?

32
00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:21,960
Did I say Darrell?

33
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,500
I meant Larry.

34
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,160
Larry?

35
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,700
He's got a shoe buffer.

36
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,680
How could you make a mistake like that?

37
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,340
I must have been thinking about the Beverly Hill

38
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,740
Billys I watched this morning.

39
00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:34,200
It's the one where Jethro wants to be an astronaut.

40
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,020
Wait a minute.

41
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:35,880
Larry's dead?

42
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:36,280
Yeah.

43
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,660
So anyway, Jethro wants to be an astronaut.

44
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:39,500
How did it happen?

45
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,850
He read in a comic book that outer space is full of

46
00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:42,200
moon

47
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:42,700
maidens.

48
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:43,100
Larry?

49
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,300
No, Jethro.

50
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,460
Focus, Captain.

51
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:48,920
[MUSIC PLAYING]

52
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,120
His heart just went, and he was 29.

53
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,120
He was our age.

54
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,280
Wow.

55
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,240
Darrell, if I died, would you remarry?

56
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,720
[BELL RINGING]

57
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,880
No, you're the one.

58
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,040
Ah.

59
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,120
Anyway, now that we have Zoe, I'm

60
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,520
thinking maybe we should get more life insurance.

61
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,520
Oh, Darrell, I don't even like talking about this.

62
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,120
It's just a precaution.

63
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,420
No one's going to die.

64
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:18,900
Dog, garnet!

65
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,060
Ah, stupid.

66
00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,500
You're thinking too much, son.

67
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,900
Just let it happen.

68
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:26,420
Steady, time it to your pulse.

69
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,140
Wait for your mother to pass.

70
00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,780
Carl, what the hell are you doing?

71
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:30,540
Oh, hey, Darrell.

72
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,740
Just getting ready for our camping trip next week.

73
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,140
You're letting Rodney play with a crossbow?

74
00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:36,300
Oh, he's not playing.

75
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,180
He's practicing.

76
00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:38,940
But that's so dangerous.

77
00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:40,340
You got it backwards.

78
00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,380
What's dangerous is not practicing.

79
00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:44,020
Yeah, well, I believe this is yours.

80
00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:46,560
Kids, what did Mr. McPherson just do wrong?

81
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,520
Handed the arrow point first.

82
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:49,560
That's right.

83
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,560
Safety first, not chief.

84
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,480
Shelby, heads up.

85
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:57,960
Hey, that's fine, son.

86
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,760
Shelby's the only real shot out of the three,

87
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,600
but you don't want the others to get discouraged.

88
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,630
My only concern is that my wife and daughter are

89
00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:07,400
provided for

90
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,920
should anything happen to me.

91
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:09,720
God forbid.

92
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:10,800
God forbid.

93
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,590
Well, it sounds like you're describing our platinum

94
00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:13,560
policy.

95
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,420
In the event of your passing, God forbid.

96
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,420
God forbid.

97
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:19,420
Your wife would be extremely well taken care of.

98
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:30,420
I'm so sorry for your loss.

99
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:33,020
Ah, Pierre, help me forget.

100
00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:39,260
What else you got?

101
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,580
I think you'll find our bronze policy will more than

102
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,540
adequately cover your basic needs.

103
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,790
Now, who will take care of your child should you both

104
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:46,520
pass away?

105
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,280
Both of us.

106
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:48,080
God forbid.

107
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,000
God forbid.

108
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,840
But I'm not going to die.

109
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,200
He is.

110
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,920
Nevertheless, I need to designate a guardian.

111
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:56,760
Wow.

112
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,240
Who would take care of Zoe if we weren't around?

113
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,640
We've never even thought about it.

114
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,920
Well, I guess the logical choice would be my parents.

115
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:04,840
Your parents?

116
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,640
They've had experience raising girls.

117
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,040
Yeah, and look how your sister turned out.

118
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,840
Oh, and your parents could do better?

119
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:10,720
They're very loving.

120
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,120
Try smothering.

121
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,900
We'll get back to you.

122
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,460
How about my cousin Earl and his wife?

123
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:16,900
They're nice, and they like to travel.

124
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:20,140
Avoiding a subpoena is not liking to travel.

125
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,620
How about my Aunt Mary?

126
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,620
The one who constantly repeats old Saturday night

127
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:24,780
live catchphrases?

128
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:26,420
That doesn't make her a bad person.

129
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:29,180
Hey, Darrell, you one wild and crazy guy.

130
00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:30,540
OK, forget it.

131
00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:32,780
You look marvelous.

132
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:33,780
I'm Paris.

133
00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:36,580
Shut up.

134
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,700
OK, how about my uncle?

135
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:39,140
Nope.

136
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:40,340
I didn't say which one.

137
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:40,980
Don't matter.

138
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,020
Don't like any of them.

139
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:42,520
Fine.

140
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,920
You hate everyone in my family except me.

141
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,200
Don't flatter yourself.

142
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:51,760
I'm sorry.

143
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:52,600
Me too.

144
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,240
Hey, you know, maybe we should look outside our

145
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:54,720
families.

146
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,120
Why don't we each pick two couples, invite them over,

147
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:57,920
and check them out?

148
00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:58,760
Like an audition?

149
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,680
We'll call it a cocktail party.

150
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,040
I know who I'm going to invite.

151
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,480
I know who I'm going to invite.

152
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,520
But it's not as if this is a competition.

153
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:06,400
Of course not.

154
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,600
Our only concern is Zoe's welfare.

155
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,600
Right.

156
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,500
You're the best man, Lynn.

157
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,980
She will.

158
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:16,740
Now, Rodney, I don't want you touching

159
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:17,980
any of this equipment.

160
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:19,660
OK.

161
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,060
What did I just tell you?

162
00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:22,340
I'm not touching it.

163
00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:23,820
Ask Megan.

164
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,620
He's not touching it.

165
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:26,900
Don't push me, Rodney.

166
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,220
What am I doing wrong?

167
00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:30,180
Well, you know exactly what you're doing wrong.

168
00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:33,660
You said don't touch it, and I'm not touching it.

169
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:35,500
You are sailing for a whaling.

170
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,740
I want to have a baby.

171
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:37,540
Hi, Melinda.

172
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:39,060
We're having some people over tonight.

173
00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:40,380
Would you mind babysitting?

174
00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:41,880
I was sure we love Sally.

175
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,600
Can I have a tea party?

176
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,040
That sounds nice.

177
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,560
Daddy, will you come to my tea party?

178
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,400
No.

179
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,920
I want you to.

180
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,480
I'm not going to a tea party.

181
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,440
I said come.

182
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,240
Megan, I have to get this equipment and--

183
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:55,040
No!

184
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,360
[LAUGHTER]

185
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,760
What did I tell you about touching this stuff?

186
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,520
I didn't touch it.

187
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,560
Just stick it.

188
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,320
I am going to get my hunting knife,

189
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,160
and then I am going to skin you alive.

190
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,000
Sure you are.

191
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:08,440
I will.

192
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,360
Short stop.

193
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,460
Oh, don't think I won't.

194
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:11,460
I'll get it for you.

195
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,420
Don't touch that knife.

196
00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:14,020
I'm not touching it, Megan.

197
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,460
He's not touching it.

198
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,220
Oh, that's it.

199
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:18,180
[SIGH]

200
00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:19,780
Poor Carl.

201
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,220
Right now he knows his dad will always

202
00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:23,060
love him one notch more than he wants to kill him.

203
00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:28,340
Here we go.

204
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:29,340
I'm so excited.

205
00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:30,020
Me too.

206
00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,700
Tonight we decide who would take care

207
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:33,060
of our precious baby daughter.

208
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,100
Now remember, we promise to keep open minds

209
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,340
about each other's candidates.

210
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:37,940
Absolutely.

211
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:38,700
Even then, Captain.

212
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:39,600
[THUD]

213
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,520
You're kidding.

214
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,000
Hey, he's my best friend at the office.

215
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,600
He has a good job, and he's a father.

216
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:44,800
He's Kenny.

217
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,920
Wanda, open minds?

218
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:47,640
[SIGH]

219
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,560
You're right.

220
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,360
Hey, McParents.

221
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:51,480
Hey.

222
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,080
You're kidding.

223
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,890
Imagine if you fit a child creatine right out of the

224
00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:57,320
womb.

225
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,820
You could race a super athlete without black market

226
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:00,840
steroids.

227
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,040
Yes.

228
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,200
And I said, never mind the bulls,

229
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,240
I'm more afraid of being trampled by the good people

230
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,000
of Pamplona.

231
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,060
[LAUGHTER]

232
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:10,580
Isn't that just crazy?

233
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:13,180
I can't top that story, so I'll just change the

234
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:13,980
subject.

235
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:16,500
Have you two ever thought about having kids?

236
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,900
Oh, we definitely want a family.

237
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,660
Really?

238
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:21,300
We believe there are four keys to raising

239
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:22,700
a happy, healthy child--

240
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,460
love, encouragement, a little discipline,

241
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:29,220
and unleashing the personal power within.

242
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:32,580
Oh, are you guys into that whole Tony Robbins thing?

243
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:33,140
What?

244
00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:33,660
No.

245
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:35,460
Tony Robbins is a nut.

246
00:07:35,460 --> 00:07:37,940
[LAUGHTER]

247
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:38,840
We're moonies.

248
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,920
Let me freshen these.

249
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:50,920
Can I even have a cookie?

250
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,520
Not until Zoe finishes her tea.

251
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,560
How do we know?

252
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,800
It's pretend tea.

253
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,800
Father, you're making a scene.

254
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:06,240
Let me tell you, if this little lady ever got knocked

255
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:06,560
up,

256
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,460
I would be there for her.

257
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,900
Right, where would we live?

258
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:10,740
I got a place.

259
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,700
Our baby is not sleeping in a car.

260
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,780
I'll get the heater fixed.

261
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:15,700
We'd have to move in with your parents.

262
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:18,820
Hey, not until my dad apologizes for interrupting

263
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,580
us on the couch.

264
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,300
We never made out on your coach.

265
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:22,860
Oops.

266
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:24,860
You cheating sack of--

267
00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:25,340
Ow.

268
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:28,500
You're going to be locked in an extra mouth when I--

269
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,300
I guess they are a little young.

270
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,140
Don't feel bad.

271
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,500
My cop choice threw up in the fireplace.

272
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:34,420
I'll go get Zoe.

273
00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:36,420
Hi, Melinda.

274
00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:37,420
Is Zoe--

275
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:37,920
Shh.

276
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:43,420
I guess they tired each other out.

277
00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,840
I'd be asleep too, but these filterless give me the

278
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:46,420
shakes.

279
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:48,420
Look at those two.

280
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,420
Yeah, promise me you'll never move away.

281
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,420
Rotney and Zoe are so crazy about each other,

282
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:53,420
they'd be heartbroken.

283
00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:59,420
Melinda, can I talk to you about something?

284
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:02,420
What, I got gum in my hair again?

285
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:05,420
This may sound odd, but if something happened to me

286
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:08,170
and Darryl, would you and Carl be willing to take

287
00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:09,420
care of Zoe?

288
00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:10,420
Really?

289
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,420
Really.

290
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,420
Oh, wonder, of course.

291
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:17,420
This is so exciting.

292
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:18,420
We're like sisters now.

293
00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:20,420
I feel the same way.

294
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,420
And Darryl and Carl are like brothers.

295
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:25,420
Well, um, that's the tricky part.

296
00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:27,420
You see, I haven't run this idea by Darryl yet,

297
00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:30,420
and he and Carl are very different.

298
00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:32,420
They just need to get to know each other better.

299
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:35,420
Hey, why don't you come with us on our camping trip?

300
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,420
Oh, we wouldn't want to impose.

301
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,420
What impose with family now?

302
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,420
Oh, wonder, it's such a good feeling

303
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:43,420
knowing you think so highly of me.

304
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:46,420
But you know what feels even better?

305
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,420
What's that?

306
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,420
Knowing that my kids will have a good home

307
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,420
if something happens to me and Carl.

308
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:56,420
You got a problem with that, Mom?

309
00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:57,420
Mom?

310
00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:00,420
[music playing]

311
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:06,420
So Darryl and I would be guardians for your kids?

312
00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:08,420
I assume this worked both ways.

313
00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:10,420
Don't they already have guardians?

314
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:11,420
We couldn't get anybody till now.

315
00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:13,420
It's not a problem, is it?

316
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,420
No.

317
00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:16,420
Why'd you hesitate?

318
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,420
Choked up with emotion.

319
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:21,420
Well, I guess I'll go tell Darryl we're going camping.

320
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,420
When are you going to tell me he's rotten, he's Godfather?

321
00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,420
[music playing]

322
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:30,420
Darryl, I have something to tell you.

323
00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:33,420
Let's take this one step at a time.

324
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:35,420
Remember to take the paper in.

325
00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:37,420
Leave different whites on each night

326
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,420
so burglars will think someone is home.

327
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:40,420
Clever.

328
00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:42,420
Water all the plants except the cactus.

329
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:44,010
And if you hear I've killed myself, would you return

330
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:44,420
my videos?

331
00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:45,420
Darryl!

332
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:46,420
[music playing]

333
00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:47,420
Hi.

334
00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:50,420
I know it's time to get done everybody's nerves.

335
00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:52,420
Everybody's nerves.

336
00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:54,420
Everybody's nerves.

337
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,420
I know it's time to get done everybody's nerves.

338
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,420
And this is how it goes.

339
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:03,420
I know it's time to get done everybody's nerves.

340
00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:04,420
It's a big mistake, Wanda.

341
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,420
I'll try to have a good attitude.

342
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,850
I'm sorry, but I just don't think Carl would be the

343
00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:10,420
right kind of father for Zoe.

344
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,630
I mean, is he really going to know what to do when it's

345
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,420
time for her to pick a college?

346
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:15,420
I don't know about this, Mel.

347
00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:16,420
They're very nice people.

348
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,800
Well, is Darryl really going to know what to do when

349
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,420
it's time for Rodney to pick a militia group?

350
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:23,420
[mimics gunfire]

351
00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:25,420
Look at that kid.

352
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:27,210
I wonder what poor suckers are stuck with the Bitterman

353
00:11:27,210 --> 00:11:29,420
kids of Carl and Melinda kick.

354
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:31,420
[laughs]

355
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,540
Look, if we make a good impression on this trip,

356
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:36,320
there'll be someone to raise our kids if we take the

357
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,420
big dirt nap.

358
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:39,930
It's a three-for-one deal, Carl, and you're not going

359
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:40,420
to blow it for me.

360
00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:42,850
You'll feel differently once you get to know him

361
00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:43,420
better.

362
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,420
Fat chance.

363
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,420
Maybe you're right.

364
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:47,830
You'll feel differently once you get to know him

365
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:48,420
better.

366
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:51,420
Fat chance. Fat chance.

367
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,420
Hey, Dad, you want to see a magic trick?

368
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,420
Do I look like I want to see a magic trick?

369
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,420
You see this time, I'm going to make it disappear.

370
00:11:58,420 --> 00:11:59,420
Okay, close your eyes.

371
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:00,420
Close my eyes?

372
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,420
Yeah.

373
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,420
It's not a magic trick if I close my eyes.

374
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:04,420
Come on!

375
00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:05,420
No!

376
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,420
Just close your eyes, Carl.

377
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,420
Okay, fine.

378
00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:12,420
What is that idiot doing?

379
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:17,420
[music]

380
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:18,420
[laughs]

381
00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:20,420
Thank you, little friends.

382
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:25,420
Ever see a tent put up before, little man?

383
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:29,420
Tent's done.

384
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,420
[sighs]

385
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,420
You know what is kind of nice to get back to nature?

386
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,420
See?

387
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,420
I'm starving, Carl.

388
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,420
What do we bring for dinner?

389
00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:38,420
[laughs]

390
00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:39,420
We don't bring dinner, Darrell.

391
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:40,420
We shoot dinner.

392
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:41,420
[laughs]

393
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:42,420
No, really.

394
00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:43,420
Really.

395
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:46,420
Whenever we go camping, Carl catches all the food.

396
00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:49,420
I like to keep connected to my basic male essence.

397
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:50,420
Hey, I know.

398
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,420
Why doesn't Darrell go with Carl?

399
00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:53,420
Ah.

400
00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:54,420
Oh.

401
00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:55,420
That's a great idea.

402
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,420
It's kind of rough out there.

403
00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:59,740
I'm sure you two are dying to have some guide time

404
00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:00,420
away from us women.

405
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,420
I like women.

406
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:05,420
Let's go.

407
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:09,380
You watch, those two are going to come back best

408
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:10,420
friends.

409
00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:11,420
You think so?

410
00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,420
I don't know, I just had three wine coolers.

411
00:13:13,420 --> 00:13:15,420
[birds chirping]

412
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:28,420
So, uh, you hunt much?

413
00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:31,420
Nah, I can't see myself ever killing anything.

414
00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:33,420
We don't kill the animals, Darrell.

415
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,680
We honor them by giving them a place in the great

416
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:36,420
circle of life.

417
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:37,420
You know what I mean?

418
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:39,420
Yeah, I saw the Lion King.

419
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,420
So, uh, those boys of yours are quite a handful?

420
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:45,420
Oh, yeah.

421
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,980
But as Hemingway said, you gotta do four things to be

422
00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:48,420
a man.

423
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:52,420
Father a son, fight a bull, plant a tree, and, uh...

424
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:54,420
Get drunk and blow your head off?

425
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:58,420
Uh, Carl, it's starting to get dark.

426
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,420
Yeah, but look at that.

427
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,420
Hey, Buttercups, Wanda loves those.

428
00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:05,420
Next to the pretty flowers.

429
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:06,420
It's a fresh deer print.

430
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:07,420
How can you tell?

431
00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:08,420
The edges are moist.

432
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:11,420
And unless I miss my guess...

433
00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:14,700
I think I'll pick some of these and take them home to

434
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:15,420
Wanda.

435
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:16,420
Yeah, you do that.

436
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,690
You know, they say if you hold this flower under

437
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:19,420
someone's chin

438
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:21,420
and it turns yellow, it means they like butter.

439
00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:23,420
What flower makes you stop talking?

440
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:26,420
Oh, there!

441
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:34,420
You want Birgit's attack, huh?

442
00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:36,420
Whichever one you feel like, honoree.

443
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:37,420
Anything's fine.

444
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,420
You sure you didn't want me to go with them?

445
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:41,420
More chance to bond?

446
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:42,420
Ugh.

447
00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:44,190
If you hadn't invited them, I'd be drinking a cold

448
00:14:44,190 --> 00:14:44,420
one

449
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:46,420
and you'd be pulling the organs out of a deer.

450
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,420
Our entire evening's ruined.

451
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:56,420
Well, this looks like a shortcut.

452
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:57,420
It's science's government property.

453
00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:58,420
I'm a taxpayer.

454
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,420
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

455
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:11,420
You'll never get it started that way.

456
00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:12,420
Is that so?

457
00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:13,420
You need an accelerant.

458
00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:14,420
What's that?

459
00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:22,420
Nice shades.

460
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:23,420
[LAUGHTER]

461
00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:25,420
Wow, you don't even look mad.

462
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:27,420
He burned off my eyebrows.

463
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:28,420
[GIGGLES]

464
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:34,420
Carl!

465
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:40,420
Well, I'll be.

466
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:41,420
What is it?

467
00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,420
It's an old NORAD missile silo.

468
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,580
They decommission these to pay for the Star Wars

469
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:46,420
satellites.

470
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,420
I thought they didn't build those.

471
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:48,420
Don't kid yourself.

472
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:50,420
You're watching us now.

473
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:51,420
Deepers.

474
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:54,420
This was once the home of a Titan II nuclear missile,

475
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,420
a Cold War classic.

476
00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:58,420
Wow, it must have been big.

477
00:15:58,420 --> 00:15:59,420
Oh, yeah.

478
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,420
That mother could hug the ground at 100 feet

479
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,420
from here to Stalingrad.

480
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,420
Ooh.

481
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:08,420
20 megaton warhead, 17,000 pounds of thrust.

482
00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:10,420
Take me a rocket, man.

483
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:11,420
Oh, baby.

484
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:12,420
[GASPS]

485
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:19,420
Self-destruct, armed.

486
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:21,420
T minus 60 minutes.

487
00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,420
Uh-oh.

488
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:23,420
What's going on?

489
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,420
In case of a hostile attack, this thing's designed

490
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,420
to go up in a giant fireball.

491
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,420
My bad.

492
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,420
Where are we going?

493
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,420
We just got a little concerned

494
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:34,420
that your parents are taking so long.

495
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,420
Maybe they got eaten by monsters.

496
00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:37,420
[SCREAMS]

497
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:38,420
Rodney, don't frighten your sister.

498
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,420
I'm sure they just at the nearest airport

499
00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:41,420
buying two tickets to Mexico.

500
00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:42,420
Darryl!

501
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:43,420
Hey.

502
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:47,420
These tracks are fresh.

503
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:49,420
You can tell because the edges are moist.

504
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:50,420
Where'd you learn that?

505
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:51,420
Picked it up.

506
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:55,420
Self-destruct in T minus one minute and counting.

507
00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:57,420
Carl, I'm scared.

508
00:16:57,420 --> 00:17:03,420
Hey, let's see if you like butter.

509
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:04,420
What are you doing?

510
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:05,420
Huh?

511
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:06,420
[LAUGHS]

512
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:07,420
Hey, that tickles.

513
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,420
Oh, someone likes butter.

514
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:10,420
Where'd you learn that?

515
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,420
I picked it up.

516
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,420
Hello?

517
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,420
Hello?

518
00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:14,420
Wanda?

519
00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:15,420
Darryl?

520
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,420
What are you doing down there?

521
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:17,420
We were exploring.

522
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,420
We got trapped.

523
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,420
The whole silos rigged to self-destruct.

524
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,420
You got dinner!

525
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:24,420
Self-destruct in 30 seconds.

526
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,420
29, 28, 27--

527
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:29,420
It won't budge!

528
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,420
Ron, save yourself!

529
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:32,420
We have to do something.

530
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:33,420
What can we do?

531
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,420
This place was designed.

532
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,420
It was standing nuclear assault.

533
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,420
21, 20--

534
00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:40,420
Darryl, there's something I haven't told you.

535
00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:44,670
If Carl and Melinda die, I promise that we'd take

536
00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:45,420
their kids.

537
00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:46,420
What?

538
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,420
[MUSIC PLAYING]

539
00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:59,420
Come on!

540
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:02,420
Three, two, one.

541
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:06,420
Cool.

542
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,060
For a few more seconds, we would have known how this

543
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:18,420
chicken felt

544
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,420
when they shoved it screaming into the deep fryer.

545
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:21,420
[LAUGHS]

546
00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:24,630
During that countdown, all I could think was that we'd

547
00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:25,420
never see the kids again.

548
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,420
Yeah, me too.

549
00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:31,420
I got a hand it to you, Darryl.

550
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:32,420
You showed me something back there.

551
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:33,420
How'd you do it?

552
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,420
Oh, uh--

553
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:37,310
He just thought about what it would mean if you two

554
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:38,420
were out of our lives.

555
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:39,420
Aw, that's nice.

556
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:40,420
It's just sweet, isn't it sweet?

557
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,420
Don't you two go dying on us.

558
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:45,170
Well, Darryl, you proved yourself to be every inch a

559
00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:47,420
man, and I want to honor you.

560
00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:49,420
Honor me, honor me, or kill me, honor me.

561
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:53,420
We would like you to be the guardians of our children.

562
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:55,420
Thanks, Carl.

563
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:58,670
And if something happened to me in Wanda, we'd like

564
00:18:58,670 --> 00:18:59,420
you to take care of Zoe.

565
00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:00,420
Really?

566
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,420
We couldn't think of anybody better.

567
00:19:02,420 --> 00:19:03,420
And that's the truth.

568
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:04,420
To the next generation.

569
00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:06,420
The next generation.

570
00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:08,420
Roddy, stop poking me.

571
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:09,420
Fast asleep.

572
00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:11,420
Can't control, boss.

573
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:12,420
Can't control, party.

574
00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:13,420
Ah!

575
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,420
Rodney!

576
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,420
Ah.

577
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:18,420
Quit poking your sister.

578
00:19:18,420 --> 00:19:19,420
Dad, is that you?

579
00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:20,420
Don't pretend you were sleeping.

580
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,420
What's wrong with Megan?

581
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,420
You were poking me.

582
00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:24,420
I was.

583
00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,420
We're making the right choice, aren't we?

584
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,420
Absolutely.

585
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:29,420
But on the ride home, let's wear seatbelts.

586
00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:30,420
We would anyway.

587
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,420
Honest, Dad.

588
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,420
I was asleep.

589
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:33,420
Ah, you're gonna be sleeping.

590
00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:34,420
And from here on in?

591
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,420
Separate cars.

592
00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:36,420
Bullseye.

593
00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:37,420
Rodney!

594
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:40,420
[music playing]

595
00:19:40,420 --> 00:20:03,420
Zoe!

596
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,420
Zoe!

597
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,420
Zoe!

598
00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:08,420
[laughing]

599
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,420
[music playing]

600
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:14,780
[MUSIC PLAYING]


